Holy War in Fresno, California

I think that it is pretty funny that in my neighborhood, the Tower District, in Fresno, California, which is basically the little lefty, pinko, politico, activistico, Cambridge-like section of Fresno, there is a holy war going on.

First, it's predominantly the gay neighborhood.... There are gay night clubs, and lots of gay-run biznesses, and generally a pervasive loveliness to the hood. Then there are the hedonistic restaurants (with names Like Veni Vidi Vici---godless enough fuya?) where hungryhomos and other decadent heteros go eat like pagans... animists even.... yum!... Then there's the rock clubs.... Starline, Fred's, "the little house" which is basically an illegal after-hours club run by "Glen," an "EX" Hell's Angel and a few of his buddies (it's a lovely place where friends meet, that actually seems to attract a large number of young, dedicated, white dreads openly puffing on stinky brown mexi shwag, all the while pronouncing in reverent, hushed tones, heads bowed, fists pressed against concave chests,"righteousness, truth, right on").... A beautiful selection of head shops... Blown Creations... featuring all of the latest fashions in handmade glass bong technology, stuffed pipe, and son of stuffed pipe.... Well you can figure that hybrid out for yourself... but... alas... here's the rub....

In comes club ELEMENTZ, the christian rock club...all ages, no drinking, bands rocking out to god. fists raised, patrons stepping to the mic to take their turn to testify, 500watt jesus pumping through the air, gothic imagery (why? I ask), parking spaces marked "Press and Priests" only, big blond Mennonites slam-dancing without touching... proud Americans....

And now... a new bakery across the street called "Sinfully Delicious Desserts" with Betty Page-inspired sexy satan and chocolate imagery splattered all over the windowpanes.... What next for my little warzone?

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