Tomorrow's Fish Wrapper
Find yourself inexpicably crying into your hands today? Are you ready to kill yourself by falling on a broadsword right now? You are not alone. It is not your period. It is not that your spouse is a complete asshole...today. It is intense solar flare activity—the most intense, in fact, since the dawn of civilization. Many people are not affected by this radiation. If you are one of the unlucky ones, you have probably noticed this. Your spouse is, no doubt, one of the others. So is your boss, and the person who said "excuse me" in a confrontational way on the train this morning.
Fear not (unless there is a broadsword hanging on the wall of your office), the feeling will pass. It may take a few more days or even a week, but it will. Until then, know you are special—one of only thousands of humans who possess an electrical current that is easily disrupted by this cosmic radiation. Sunscreen may help some of us in the meantime.
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